Last Monday was a very special day for my boyfriend. It was the day he and his fellow team mates won the championship of their company’s summer basketball league. On Saturday, he will meet with his band mates for their rehearsal. Few weeks before that, he had lots of basketball games, band rehearsals and gigs already.
That’s because, basketball and playing the drums are his hobbies (and passion).
By the way, he also loves watching NBA and PBA games too!
We, girls, may be a little guilty that we sometimes (oh crap, I am being a little defensive :-p) get annoyed when boys all ever talk about is basketball, cars, gym or video games. For boys, sometimes, you guys would say that watching teen flicks is too boring and cheesy.
Have you all ever felt like it’s [the hobby] all he/she wanted to do? And that you aren’t being noticed already? Do you feel less special because he/she has other things to do? Did you ever started an argument because of these? Think twice, maybe, or yes, what we are thinking and what we did are wrong.
I must admit that on the early stage of me and my boyfriend’s relationship, I have had issues dealing with his hobbies. He’s always going home late because of gigs, he doesn’t text me whenever he watches NBA games and is playing basketball outside their house. But being in a 4 year relationship made me realize a lot.
I have listed my own ways on dealing with issue about misunderstood hobbies in which couples usually argue at.
Ask yourself, “what are MY hobbies?”
(opinion in my perspective)
Hey, we all girls have our hobbies too. We like shopping, watching teen flicks, cooking, reading, blogging and others. If you start with an argument with them that their hobbies are waste of time, what would you feel if they would say it to you also?
Take time to know the HOBBY.
Before anything else, what is/are his hobby/hobbies? If it’s basketball, have you, even once, watched his game? Not yet? Oh, you don’t even know how great the feeling cheering for your loved one. Knowing the hobby will let you understand fully why your partner’s being hooked in it. If it is not a bad habit, why would go against to it?
One thing more, sometimes, your partner’s hobby, when you paid attention to it, learned everything about it, may be your own hobby too. What a great thing it is when you share the same love for something, right?
After “knowing”, study.
(as a girl’s perspective)
You already know what are the hobbies, now is the right time to check if it is a good one, if he benefits from it. Say, your partner’s hobby is camping or backpacking, ask your self, what does he get from it. We know men love outdoors, but aside from that, (if a man is working already), what he needs is a little rest also. They need that extra time to reflect and be able to collect thoughts for the past days of being tired from work.
Talk about it. Set the priorities.
If you still think that you are not the priority, maybe it is time to talk. We, ladies, are emotional by nature, what we need is just a little assurance that, “hey! you are more important than these”. Simple chat over coffee and settling things will definitely solve any misunderstandings about priorities.
Respecting ones leisure pursuits when accomplished in a relationship will make it stronger. If it is a good hobby, we have to learn to understand it and accept it. I know for some it would take a long process, but believe me, you could. Especially that you know that the relationship, is still the priority. Along the way, we may still have flaws, but those are okay. Your partner needs you to be behind him whenever he does something he wants. After all, who would give him the pat on his back and the sweetest smile he ever wanted? It is yours.<3
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